Venetian Whirl

We have just returned from what we had expected to be a 'break' in the beautiful city of Venice. Now, as we all know Venice is famed for its canals and so getting around with a baby/toddler in tow was never a match made in heaven right? Oh, so wrong!

It would seem that the baby is Pariah in Italy and we were simply her entourage; the facilitators in escorting her on a tour of the city and greetings with fans.

Upon our arrival, the red carpet was rolled out and as soon as Ellen was spotted we were ushered to the front of the queues to get through the airport and on with her royal visit. Of course, since she is of such importance, it was only right that she was transported via a wheeled chariot. Thus came our first stumbling block. As stated before, Venice has canals. Lots of canals. Over the canals are bridges. The bridges have steps. LOTS of steps. Wheeled chariot was promptly ditched in favour of organic fabric carrying device and peace was once more restored among the dignity's escorts.

Being carried over the Rialto Bridge

Ellen glided happily above the crowds waving at her onlookers, smiling as people took her photo (yes, really) and giving smug looks to other small beings whose entourages persisted with their attempts to wheel their precious cargo in their chariots. Our girl was high on celebrity status and revelling in it. It seemed that being carried was much more acceptable to her as well as us as it gave her direct access to the male member of her entourages sunglasses which she removed from his face at her will and placed upon her own. She found that with a simple wave of her hand she was off in her preferred direction and when travelling via vaporetto, she had a most acceptable vantage point. On the occasions when she had travelled in the wheeled chariot on the vaporetto, her fans were unable to spot her as she was beneath their eye level and this was entirely unsatisfactory.

Ellen donning the male hired helps shades to
amuse the passersby in St Mark's Square.

On reflection, I feel I can confidently say as one part of the hired help we did a great job of accompanying the one year old (her birthday was on Tuesday) on her city break. For future visits, I would probably insist on the chariot being brought as it allowed a place for Ellen to sleep in the evening once her public appearances had worn her out. This allowed us as her assistants to eat, drink chianti and unwind. I would strongly advise anyone due to accompany a similar trip to invest in their own fabric carrying device as without it I have a funny feeling that our time in Venice would have been confined to very carefully chosen, non bridge based areas.